The PTSD Brain -- "Check out the Size of that Amygdala"

Years ago (in 2002 or 2003 to be more precise), I read a study about Neuropeptide Y (a.k.a. NPY) and tests done in soldiers going through SERE School at Fort Bragg. According to researchers, veteran Special Forces operators (Green Berets) were less upset or stressed during SERE school than the younger SOF soldiers (e.g. Rangers). The study showed that the SF operators had much higher NPY than the younger troops.

I had read about that study and referenced it (although not specifically for the NPY-link) when I published an article with the Texas Tactical Police Officer Association (TTPOA) Command Magazine in the Winter issue of 2003. I titled it “Deadly Confrontations: Harnessing Psychological and Physiological Stressors in Order to Win the Fight."

Back then, and even to some degree now, I held a theory that those operators with high NPY had PTS(d). When an operator isn't operating or when he's having difficulty adjusting that's just normalcy exhibiting itself. Right?

If the mental health community constantly uses the axiom or the adage that anyone with PTSD is experiencing "a normal reaction to an abnormal circumstance", then why has PTS(d) been labeled as a "disease"? By doing so, there's a gross social stigma, troops refusing to get help or being seen as "crazy" if they open up and admit what should otherwise be "normal" problems from post-combat conflict.

Of course, there is no easy answer, but there must be better solutions. A society full of warriors would understand, but would the media or the warrior's society ever embrace the realities of the change on so many warriors (and subsequently their families) whose lives have changed since coming home?

I definitely don't have all the answers, and I might be wrong on many of my unconventional theories, but the fact remains, this is a pretty fascinating video and worth watching for anyone interested in how the brain works: This is your brain; this is your brain with PTSD.

Jeffrey Denning

Now, the YouTube description of the embedded video follows. Length 1:28 min.

Professor John Krystal introduced Tilde Cafe to specific regions of the brain that play a role in stress and resiliency, such as the amygdala, the hippocampus, and the winner of all names for the afternoon, the "bed nucleus stria terminalis"! Each of these, and other regions of the brain, are finely tuned to recognize and respond to unpleasant stimuli. But there are instances where this fine tuning can be disrupted, or is not function optimally, leading to anxiety and stress that becomes difficult to cope with. With Professor Krystal's extensive experience working with veterans in his capacity as Director of the Clinical Neuroscience Division at the VA National Center for PTSD, we had a front row perspective on the status of research being carried out to help PTSD patients. Of the many novel approaches, a fascinating one related to Neuropeptide Y, one of the neurotransmitters we heard about in the September café. Neuropeptide Y has the ability to confer resiliency and thus the ability to cope with stress, and there is active research to determine how this can be harnessed in coping with PTSD and perhaps even pre-empting it.


To read amazing interviews with warriors, check out Warrior SOS: Interviews, Insights and Inspiration, the book on Amazon.com. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D3WO7VK

PTSD not a mental illness?

Recently I've had conversations with an incredible Veteran and Marine, Richard Brewer, who started http://www.jarheadpinhead.org and http://jarheadpinhead.blogspot.com .  He hopes to change the face of PTSD. On his website, it reads: "People telling you it's ok to seek help, to admit you have 'PTSD', but being labeled as 'crazy' or being mentally ill, just doesn't seem right?"

After pausing to consider this excellent observation several days ago, I had it in subconscious thought ever since. Last night I took an opportunity to re-read a great book. Dr. Viktor Frankl survived the Nazi death camp to go on to live a life of helping others with mental health issues. He was one of the most renowned and experienced practitioners of his time.  In his explanation of the therapy he invented, called Logo therapy, he wrote:

“A man’s concern, even his despair, over the worthwhileness of life is an existential distress but by no means a mental disease.” -- Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning, 2006, Beacon Press, Boston, p 102, original emphasis.

To read amazing interviews with warriors, check out Warrior SOS: Interviews, Insights and Inspiration, the book on Amazon.com. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D3WO7VK

Ernest Hemingway on War

Ernest Hemingway was a wounded WWI Veteran. War served as the backdrop for many of his literary masterpieces. In a writing debate on hunting in Esquire magazine where he served as a leading colmunist, Hemingway finally left animals to poignantly note the following:

"There is no hunting like the hunting of man. And those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. You will meet them doing various things with resolve, but their interest rarely holds because after the other thing ordinary life is as flat as the taste of wine when the taste buds have been burned off your tongue.”

-- Ernest Hemingway, "On the Blue Water: A Gulf Stream Letter," Esquire, April 1936.

In Men at War, Hemingway wrote: "When you go to war as a boy you have a great illusion of immortality. Other people get killed; not you. . . . Then when you are badly wounded the first time you lose that illusion and you know it can happen to you. After being severely wounded two weeks before my nineteenth birthday I had a bad time until I figured out that nothing could happen to me that had not happened to all men before me. Whatever I had to do men had always done. If they had done it then I could do it too and the best thing was not to worry about it." (Source: http://www.archives.gov/publications/prologue/2006/spring/hemingway.html)


To read amazing interviews with warriors, check out Warrior SOS: Interviews, Insights and Inspiration, the book on Amazon.com. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D3WO7VK

One Warrior's Creed - COL Randy Watt - OneWarriorsCreed.com

One Warrior's Creed

If today is to be THE DAY, so be it.

If you seek to do battle with me this day you will receive the best that I am capable of giving.

It may not be enough, but it will be everything that I have to give

and it will be impressive for I have constantly prepared myself for this day.

I have trained, drilled and rehearsed my actions so that I might have the best chance of defeating you.

I have kept myself in peak physical condition, schooled myself in the martial skills

and have become proficient in the application of combat tactics.

You may defeat me, but you will pay a severe price and will be lucky to escape with your life.

You may kill me, but I am willing to die if necessary.

I do not fear Death, for I have been close enough to it on enough occasions that it no longer concerns me.

But I do fear the loss of my Honor and would rather die fighting than to have it said that I was without Courage.

So I WILL FIGHT YOU, no matter how insurmountable it may seem, and to the death if need be,

in order that it may never be said of me that I was not a Warrior.

Steven R. Watt, All Rights Reserved.

To read amazing interviews with warriors, including an interview with COL Watt, check out Warrior SOS: Interviews, Insights and Inspiration, the book on Amazon.com. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D3WO7VK

Top 10 Things Your Combat Vet Wants You To Know

Top 10 Things Your Combat Vet Wants You To Know

by Regina Bahten

Taken from: http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/07/combat-vetera-wants-you-to-know.html

I’m a psychiatrist. Every day I listen to my combat veterans as they struggle to return to the “normal” world after having a deeply life-changing experience. I do everything I can to help them. Sometimes that can involve medications, but listening is key. Sometimes a combat veteran tells me things that they wish their families knew. They have asked me to write something for their families, from my unique position as soldier, wife, and physician. These are generalizations; not all veterans have these reactions, but they are the concerns most commonly shared with me.

(Author’s note: obviously warriors can be female — like me — and family can be male, but for clarity’s sake I will write assuming a male soldier and female family.)

1. He is addicted to war, although he loves you. War is horrible, but there is nothing like a life-and-death fight to make you feel truly alive. The adrenaline rush is tremendous, and can never be replaced. Succeeding in combat defines a warrior, places him in a brotherhood where he is always welcome and understood. The civilian world has its adrenaline junkies as well; just ask any retired firefighter, police officer, or emergency room staff if they miss it.

2. Living for you is harder. It would be easy for him to die for you because he loves you. Living for you, which is what you actually want, is harder for him. It is even harder for him if you are smart and do not need him to rescue you, since rescuing is something he does really well. If you are very competent at many things, he may at times question if you need him at all. He may not see that you stay with him as a conscious choice.

 3. “The training kicks in” means something very different to him. It is direct battle doctrine that when ambushed by a superior force, the correct response is “Apply maximum firepower and break contact.” A warrior has to be able to respond to threat with minimal time pondering choices. While this is life-saving in combat, it is not helpful in the much slower-paced civilian world. A better rule in the civilian world would be to give a reaction proportionate to the provocation. Small provocation, small response (but this could get you killed on the battlefield). When the training becomes second nature, a warrior might take any adrenaline rush as a cue to “apply maximum firepower.” This can become particularly unfortunate if someone starts to cry. Tears are unbearable to him; they create explosive emotions in him that can be difficult for him to control. Unfortunately, that can lead to a warrior responding to strong waves of guilt by applying more “maximum firepower” on friends, family, or unfortunate strangers.

4. He is afraid to get attached to anyone because he has learned that the people you love get killed, and he cannot face that pain again. He may make an exception for his children (because they cannot divorce him), but that will be instinctual and he will probably not be able to explain his actions.

5. He knows the military exists for a reason.  The sad fact is that a military exists ultimately to kill people and break things. This was true of our beloved “Greatest Generation” warriors of WWII, and it remains true to this day. Technically, your warrior may well be a killer, as are his friends. He may have a hard time seeing that this does not make him a murderer.  Although they may look similar at first glance, he is a sheepdog protecting the herd, not a wolf trying to destroy it. The emotional side of killing in combat is complex. He may not know how to feel about what he’s seen or done, and he may not expect his feelings to change over time. Warriors can experiences moments of profound guilt, shame, and self-hatred. He may have experienced a momentary elation at “scoring one for the good guys,” then been horrified that he celebrated killing a human being. He may view himself as a monster for having those emotions, or for having gotten used to killing because it happened often. One of my Marines recommended On Killingby Dave Grossman, and I would pass that recommendation on.

6. He’s had to cultivate explosive anger in order to survive in combat. He may have grown up with explosive anger (violent alcoholic father?) as well.

7. He may have been only nineteen when he first had to make a life and death decision for someone else. What kind of skills does a nineteen-year-old have to deal with that kind of responsibility?  One of my veterans put it this way: “You want to know what frightening is? It’s a nineteen-year-old boy who’s had a sip of that power over life and death that war gives you. It’s a boy who, despite all the things he’s been taught, knows that he likes it. It’s a nineteen-year-old who’s just lost a friend, and is angry and scared, and determined that some *%#& is gonna pay. To this day, the thought of that boy can wake me from a sound sleep and leave me staring at the ceiling.”

 8. He may believe that he’s the only one who feels this way; eventually he may realize that at least other combat vets understand. On some level, he doesn’t want you to understand, because that would mean you had shared his most horrible experience, and he wants someone to remain innocent.

9. He doesn’t understand that you have a mama bear inside of you, that probably any of us could kill in defense of someone if we needed to. Imagine your reaction if someone pointed a weapon at your child. Would it change your reaction if a child pointed a weapon at your child?

10. When you don’t understand, he needs you to give him the benefit of the doubt.  He needs you also to realize that his issues really aren’t about you, although you may step in them sometimes.  Truly, the last thing he wants is for you to become a casualty of his war.

Regina Bahten has been practicing medicine for the past 24 years; the first twelve were as a primary care doctor.  She then crosstrained as a psychiatrist. She has been honored with the friendships of many veterans over those years, whose influence led to her decision to accept a commission in the National Guard at the age of 48. For the past three years she has worked as an outpatient psychiatrist with the Veterans’ Administration in Las Vegas, primarily with veterans of the current conflicts.

To read amazing interviews with warriors, check out Warrior SOS: Interviews, Insights and Inspiration, the book on Amazon.com. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D3WO7VK

Iraqi War Vet and Police Officer Gunned Down

Police Officer Brad Fox and his K9 partner were shot and killed during an ambush on Sept. 13, 2012. Officer Fox, who lived and worked in Pennsylvania, leaves behind a pregnant wife and a young daughter. Directions for donations can be found at the Personal Protection Consultants, Inc website: https://www.ppcitraining.com/

To read amazing interviews with warriors, check out Warrior SOS: Interviews, Insights and Inspiration, the book on Amazon.com. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D3WO7VK

Soldiers to the Summit (and High Ground)

Expedition Team Leader, Jeff Evans was the first person interviewed at the Warrior SOS blog. His full interview is in Warrior SOS, the book, on Amazon.com, too. Linked below.
Thanks Jeff.

You can check out that fantastic interview here: http://www.warriorsos.blogspot.com/2010/11/exclusive-interview-with-expedition.html

He and his team have done remarkable things helping wounded veterans.

http://www.soldierstosummits.org

http://www.facebook.com/soldierstosummits

Stay tuned for the movie. You won't want to miss it. http://highgroundmovie.com


To read amazing interviews with warriors, check out Warrior SOS: Interviews, Insights and Inspiration, the book on Amazon.com. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D3WO7VK

An Oath to Preserve & Protect

Human nature and inalienable rights are the same now as when the writers of the Declaration of Independence put those immortal words to paper: "We hold these truths to be self-evident." The dangers our Nation and people face now are as real and daunting as then. We have a common bond with those soldiers who first won our freedom and with those who paid in blood to maintain it. We today have their example to inspire and educate us. We all stand a little taller because we share the title, soldier.

-- U.S. Army Field Manual (FM) 7-21.13, Chapter 1, para. 1.4, emphasis added

To read amazing interviews with warriors, check out Warrior SOS: Interviews, Insights and Inspiration, the book on Amazon.com. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D3WO7VK

Man Down!

In Memoriam literally means "in memory of." It was made famous by the literary genius of the great Alfred Lord Tennyson, who wrote a poem titled In Memoriam.

Lord Tennyson originally thought to name it "The Way of the Soul." His Christian beliefs combined with death and loss of a dear friend (not a spouse) tried his soul and wounded his heart. He eloquently shared the finest details of his unsullied mind and heart. His words have great meaning to the warrior.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

Or consider these words. The warrior who's comrades die and his widow knows them well.

So runs my dream, but what am I?
An infant crying in the night
An infant crying for the light
And with no language but a cry.

And later on in another part of the poem, Tennyson writes of faith and the challenge of believing in God. He writes:

If e'r when faith had fallen asleep,
I hear a voice 'believe no more'
And heard an ever-breaking shore
That tumbled in the Godless deep;

A warmth within the breast would melt
The freezing reason's colder part,
And like a man in wrath the heart
Stood up and answer'd 'I'd have felt.'

No, like a child in doubt and fear:
But that blind clamour made me wise;
Then was I as a child that cries, 
But, crying knows his father near;

I think I've experienced that very same thing while in Iraq. I wrote about it here:
http://www.mormon.org/me/2GXB/JeffreyDenning 

A lot of negative feelings are magnified during tragedies and thereafter. Anger, hurt, grief. But there is hope in tomorrow. There is hope in the glorious resurrection, and in the faith and knowledge that life goes on after death.

"For his anger endureth but a moment... weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning" (Psalms 30:5).


To read amazing interviews with warriors, check out Warrior SOS: Interviews, Insights and Inspiration, the book on Amazon.com. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D3WO7VK

Utah CHL, Northern IL - Sat Oct 13th

I will be teaching a Utah concealed handgun license (CHL) / concealed weapons (CCW) course on Saturday, Oct. 13th from 8am til about noon. Taking this lecture-based course will allow you to legally carry a concealed weapon in over 30 states outside of Illinois.

The cost is only $60, which includes fingerprinting. Checks can be made out to Warrior SOS.

The location of the class will depend upon how many people sign up. HURRY. SIGN UP TODAY. There aren't many spaces available.

You do NOT have to have a FOID card to attend this class.

Note: To qualify for the Utah concealed handgun lisense (CHL), you cannot have any DUI convictions or convictions of domestic violence. You cannot have a felony on your record. If you meet these qualifications and want to attend the class, please leave a comment here. I won't post it (unless you want me to), but I'll get it. Leave your name, email and a phone number on the comment below. Also, be sure to click follow the Warrior SOS blog.

Rants & Thoughts -- Guns, War & My Foxy Wife

I’m a little nervous telling anyone this. I mean, anyone can read it, right? But, maybe no one will. After all, some things are better left unsaid.

I think telling my wife all the bad things that have happened at various working periods in my life as a gun-wielding warrior freaked her out a bit, especially the first few years of our marriage. I was on a full-time tactical team when we were first married. All the stories of “man’s inhumanity to man” finally got to her I suppose, at least subconsciously, that is. One or two really bad nightmares while she was pregnant made her not ever even want to ever touch a gun. She wasn’t anti-gun, per se; she just didn’t necessarily want a gun near her personally.

To point, when a woman marries a man, she also marries his career too. If my wife would have married a dentist or a computer technician, the conversations would have been vastly different than the ones we’ve shared together. Believe me.

“Hi honey, how was work today?”

“Oh, same ol’ thing. Two or three cavities to fill and a few semi-annual teeth cleanings that the hygienist did. Same ol’ office drama from the receptionist, ya know.”

Verses my wife calling the police department in a panic wondering if I was still alive since I didn’t come home for several hours after my shift had ended; or like the time when I called her at 2am (her time) from overseas and said, “You might see some reports on CNN. I didn’t want you to worry. We lost some teammates in the Gaza Strip, but I’m okay.” Or, a few years later when I received a tearful letter from my loving wife while I was in Iraq with the US Army Reserves. She wrote and said how absolutely sad and horrible and close-to-home it was that my other Army buddy, SRT teammate and colleague, Johnny, died. She knew Johnny. Now he was dead. She wrote that she was worried for me, and that if I were to get killed she simply wouldn’t know how to go on living anymore.

Yeah, wives get to know a lot about their husband’s profession – even if he doesn’t talk about it very much; even if she does try to associate her own life with the fictional drama of Hollywood’s “Army Wives,” which I hate, by the way. Those actors couldn’t come close to understanding the hell or the camaraderie or the shear fear faced by warriors. They might capitalize on the thoughts or emotions of viewers who don’t know any better, but any movie or television show glamorizing shooting, war or killing from real warriors who’ve been there or who’ve done that…well…they should just be ashamed for making it look “cool” or appealing. There’s nothing good about war.

But… who would want to watch a show about dentists or computer geeks? Just sayin’. Cops and military commandos: that’s what shows are made of, even if they do get it all wrong. As much as my wife has been “tortured” by my living reality of police, military and para-military tactics, at least she didn’t marry some guy who was boring. I’m the antithesis of boredom. In fact, I so miss the adrenaline and the fight that at times I find myself going 110mph with my hair on fire (what’s left of it anyway). That’s not boring, right? Of course, safety first.

But really, let’s think about it, warriors are different than any other person or profession. When the dentist goes out with his wife, he’s looking at all the nice smiles. Perhaps, he’s wondering how, if the economy gets any worse, he can succeed in this recession. More than anything, he’s just enjoying the shopping mall.

By contrast, when a warrior kindly tells his wife he’ll accompany her to the same mall (although he hates it), he may appear casual, but he’s constantly searching for threats. Not only does he loathe the shopping experience and the crowds, but he’s checked out emotionally and mentally.  He’s checking for avenues of egress and emergency exits. He has his back towards the wall, hopefully. He positions himself to gain the best tactical advantage should an attack be imminent. He’s looking at hands; the hands hold weapons that kill. He’s considering the evil tendencies of man by “war gaming” or “what if” thinking (e.g. “What if someone came in here with a few IEDs or started blasting everyone – shooting the entire crowd? What should I do to protect myself, my loved ones and innocent by-standers? How would I stop him and how could I save the others?)

I did that even before Columbine or 9/11 – far before terms like IED, VBIED or CBRN became household terms, even before the military transitioned to those acronyms in full force. Far before the Aurora, Colorado theater shooting, I had regularly told my wife and kids where to go and what to do “should a Wildman come in the movie theater and start shooting into the crowd or throwing homemade explosives.” My wife would often give me that “look” – as in, stop saying that to our little kids; you do that at the restaurant and everywhere else we go. Don’t create panic in them. But is my wife wrong?

Disclaimer: I married Mrs. Right – Mrs. ALWAYS Right.  

Somewhat-seriously, though, I believe if Bambi’s mom had a plan when the forest fire and the hunter came, she might have lived to see Bambi and Thumper grow up! If you have a plan, you’ll be prepared; and if you’re prepared you won’t fear…at least not as much as you would without a plan or without any training.

Okay, listen, who cares about a cartoon deer or even real deer? I care about people though (however, not necessarily the characters of some people, to include actors’ characters. No pun intended. Well, maybe).

I care about my kids and my wife. That’s why I’ve shown my wife how to use the guns. She’s good-to-go, by the way. She has heard me say at least a thousand times how terrible and unrealistic Hollywood tactics are and that “that would never happen” or “you should never do that” or “they should hire me to help them look good on the Big Screen.”

Seriously though, my mon cheri knows how to pull back – and lock – the slide of the semi-auto handgun. She knows other basic stuff too, like muzzle discipline, finger indexing, loading, aiming and pulling the trigger – all the necessities to put a few holes in any would-be attackers.

My darling has probably only touched a gun, well, at least ten times. She has listened to me enough to know about the basics, especially safety measures. After all, repetition is the law of learning. Why wouldn’t she know about muzzle discipline or finger placement when I tell our six-year-old boy to “get your finger straight and off the trigger until you’re ready to shoot. You don’t want to have an ND, do ya?”

“But dad, it’s only a squirt gun.”

“I don’t care, boy. Treat it like its real. Then you’ll know how to use a real gun safely one day.” Well, that’s another issue. I don’t let my kids play with guns. “Gun play” isn’t playful. Talk about a play on words or…whatever.

Back to my wife, the better looking one.

My wife does not like shooting. Have I mentioned that yet? She sure would look good with a gun though, her hair pulled back in a pony tail with a Warrior SOS ball cap on. Nice. (Don’t get worried. I’ll stop there. This is a family friendly, PG-rated blog.) The truth is I’ve tried to convince her she needs her own gun. She secretly knows I just want another pistol though. What in the world made her think that? C’mon, she really needs a tricked out, custom tactical 1911 in .45 ACP? At least I think she does. But she doesn’t need it in pink. No, not pink. That wouldn’t look good when I decide to test it out every time I took it to the range. Besides, she doesn’t even like guns. But she’d like that one…the one I’ve dreamed of having since I was a little boy.  (Okay, back to reality. Daydreaming about my beautiful wife and tactical weapons would probably give Freud something to talk about, but we don’t have to go there.)

My wonderful wife has shot literally two rounds at two separate times in nearly 15 years of our marriage. Like I said, she’s doesn’t really like guns. Guns kill people. That’s what guns are for (at least in my line of work).

I digress, but this needs to be said: They say (whoever they is) that opposites attract. If that’s the case, and it appears so, at least in part, in my marriage, then if my wife doesn’t like guns, that means I would really love guns. And, hey, I do. The other thing is I’m O positive and she’s A negative. (Personalities aside.) She’s a Payne (that’s her maiden name), and I’m not so much of one. (Pun intended). Okay, admittedly, I might be a pain in her neck sometimes, but borrowing from God’s creation of Adam and Eve, there’s occasionally a side ache from the rib extraction. I’m joking. Kidding.

I’m reminded of a great poem by an unknown author. It goes something like this:

Woman was created from man

not made out of his head to ruled over,

nor out of his feet to be trampled upon,

but out of his side to be equal with him,

under his arm to be protected,

and near his heart to be loved.

And I do love my wife. I am so very blessed to have her. Besides, who else would put up with me? I want to protect her and love her forever and ever – throughout time and all eternity.

While I was overseas protecting US diplomats, our home was broken into. I was armed to the teeth, but I wasn’t home to protect my wife and kids. What a paradox. What a shame. Although my wife doesn't want to go shooting on a date or at any other time, she is a firm believer in her Second Amendment rights now. In short, when our home was broken into, she was compelled to think about taking a life even more than she had previously. After all, she was at home all alone. As any mother, she had the instinct and internal drive to kill, if need be, to protect our children. She’d do that. Like most women and mothers, she might hesitate to protect herself, but she’d maul anyone like a sow bear if someone attempts to harm our little cubs.

There was nothing I could have said or done to parallel what four burglars did in five minutes. Their actions were the catalyst that changed her thinking on shooting people. I mean, she didn't like the idea, but after that criminal action, fear entered her heart. With the possibilities of what could have happened, she was now determined to ensure bad things wouldn't happen. Even if it meant killing another human being to prevent such horrific crimes and would-be tragedies.

Thankfully, although our home was damaged, no one was hurt. Thankfully, my wife didn’t even see the bandits and robbers since she was taking me back to the airport. All of that now to give this stern – very stern –

Warning! Any and all would-be burglars or bad guys had better watch out. Although my bride has only shot two rounds, they were DEAD center in the bullseye. She doesn’t mess around. She doesn’t play games. She told me that when we first started dating and that was no laughing matter. Like most people who haven’t ever pointed real guns at real people under stress and conflict, if you try to break into our house now, she just might start shooting. Her unwritten motto just may be shoot first, ask questions later.

Now, she just has to keep putting up with me. And I sometimes wonder if being a dentist would have been better for me and her and our kids. Oh well, I guess I’ll never know. There are some boys who’d rather choose to grow up and break out people’s teeth and other’s who’ll fix ‘em. And, still others – the warrior class – who, should the worst occur, will shoot someone right in the teeth to help save lives. The problem is such a life and livelihood always seems to leave some things a little broken.  

For instance, shooting another human being, when you get down to it, is a very serious psychological, moral and spiritual matter. Although there are justifiable circumstances, in one sense, there isn't ever a true "winner" in battle. I’ve been carrying a firearm for many, many years with the sole purpose of having it to use against another human being, if necessary. Such constant thinking, guarded awareness and specialized tactical training and experiences shapes our characters and belief system; it shapes who we are and who we will eventually become.   

I've met – and have worked alongside – a lot of operators. I’ve been in some pretty hairy situations and I know a lot of people who have had to use lethal force. They’ve shot other people at close distances. Can you imagine looking into someone’s eyes and then shooting them? Even saying the words “shoot them in the face” adds an entirely poignant dimension to the lethality and personal, psychological insights pertaining to “the work of death.” (Note: That phrase is used five times in the Book of Mormon.)

Although moral, psychological and even physiological responses differ between individuals who’ve been involved in lethal confrontations, there are always – always – some sort of negative repercussions. No one can bypass that. No one can escape it. Some people don't even want to think about taking another person's life, let alone dwell upon it. But, I submit that even those who pursue the pathway of a warrior – those who work and train, eat, breathe and sleep after this manner, experience a mental and emotional change that dentists or computer techs are otherwise ignorant to forever. Perhaps, in some things, ignorance really is bliss.

Consider the warrior I spoke with today. He said the guy next to him was shot while they were in a war zone. While telling the story, my friend became emotional and upset. There’s nothing good about death when someone else is causing it. It’s too bad that Hollywood tends to make killing and guns look so cool. I mean, my wife is hot, and while I think it would be fun to have her be excited to go to the range and let me teach her how to shoot a .22LR, I sure don’t ever want her to have any bad dreams. And, I certainly don’t ever want her to have to know what I know about guns and the psychological impact of war on the soul.


To read amazing interviews with warriors, check out my book Warrior SOS: Interviews, Insights and Inspiration, the book on Amazon.com. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D3WO7VK

CQB Pistol Course, Sat. Aug 25, northern Illinois

Picture accessed from Tactical-Life.com

Warrior SOS is raising money for a good cause. 

In order to get some funds, I’m teaching a course at an awesome facility in Mount Carroll, called www.HollowTrainingCenter.com.  

If you’re interested in the CQB Pistol course in a 360-degree shoot house leave a note on the blog. 

The cost is $225 with discounts (really good discounts, if needed) to law enforcement, war veterans and returning students. Please note this is an Advanced Course.

Course Description

This course focuses on advanced pistol handling skills, decision-making shooting, room clearing, handheld flashlight techniques indoors, team work and team movement. With an emphasis on safety, students will engage multiple targets in a multi-room, 360-degree shoot house.

Instructor experience includes:

- Founder/Director, Warrior SOS

- Team Leader, full-time SWAT team

- Top Gun Winner, Federal Air Marshal

- Private Contractor (including classified contract)

- OIF War Veteran

- NRA Law Enforcement Tactical Instructor

- LAPD Advanced SWAT School

- Guns.com tactical writer

- Utah CCW Instructor

 See what others have said about Warrior SOS courses here: http://warriorsos.blogspot.com/2010/11/shooting-course-feedback.html

Gun Stand Off -- What Not to Do

School Resource Officer (SRO) in a Tennessee high school stands off gun to gun for several minutes with a man who worked at the school. The date of the raw footage from CCTV is in Aug 2010.  The stand off begins at 3:00 minutes in this video.

Analyzing tactics are in order. We all can learn from this incident. Thankfully, no one was hurt, but because of the situation, the officer could have been killed and then many more people could have been killed or seriously injured. In this situation, the SRO was justified in using deadly force.

Warriors need to do difficult things for the blessing and protection of others, even when – and especially – when it’s hard to do. Warriors (police officers, security professionals and military personnel) do the job others cannot. If you don't want to be a warrior, find another job. That's okay. Not everyone's cut out to be warriors. Being a warrior isn't fun or glamorous. It's a thankless, difficult duty. If not, there would be no Warrior SOS.

Here are a few thoughts to keep in mind with any tactical situation:

Be prepared to use deadly force. This emotional, psychological and spiritual decision must be made long before the incident arrives. You may have to shoot a man, a woman, pregnant lady or a young teenager. Think about it before the time arrives.

Be prepared to stop a co-worker, a neighbor, a teammate, friend or even a relative. You may have to physically hurt or kill someone that you know or someone you’ve talked with or like or someone you think you know well. An old military adage goes like this: Have a plan to kill everyone you meet. No one said being a warrior is fun. Hollywood only makes it look appealing and attractive, but it's not. There are hard days and difficult times that nothing on the Big Screen could ever accurately portray.

Action is faster than reaction. If someone’s pointing a gun at you, you must act fast. He can pull the trigger anytime he wants to and you’ll be DRT – dead right there.

Shoot already!

Shoot from behind cover.

Get to hard cover – and stay there until the threat stops. Move only if you are gaining a tactical advantage without sacrificing your own safety.   

Shoot on the move if you need to. Practice it. Do anything, but be sure to never – ever – get involved in a so-called Mexican standoff. You could lose. Period. The results could be disastrous. It’s your job to protect those who cannot protect themselves, so do it! Remember, action is faster than reaction.

Don’t ever give up your weapon. At least the SRO did that right.

Shoot center mass. A dear friend and rookie police officer asked me why not shoot someone in the arm or the leg. He didn’t want to hurt anyone. A few years later, after gaining some experience and realizing the threat of human violence, he was shot and killed. Shoot center mass. I wrote an article on why shoot center mass here for Guns.com, where I’m a tactical writer.

Know ballistics and wound penetration. If you’re going to shoot, realize that the suspect might live. Go visit with an ER doctor in a big, violent city. Shoot the suspect if you're justified. Stop the threat. He’s a huge threat to everyone. Hopefully bad guys will drop their weapons, but don’t count on it. Hopefully they’ll live after you shoot them several times.

Shoot until the threat stops. Forget the two-shots and stop drill. Try a six-shot rhythm drill on the guy’s chest. I wrote about that for an Action Target newsletter I posted here in my other blog – the Jeffrey Denning blog. I also demonstrated it here below this with Guns.com. The audience was a couple of cop buddies of mine.

Have a self aid/buddy aid kit handy. You’ll need it when you least expect it.

Know and be confident in your weapon disarming techniques. Know that criminals, crazies and kooks can learn it just as well as you can.  

Lastly, stay safe. Train hard. And fight to win.

Like I state at the end of all of my Guns.com articles….

Until next time continue to hone your skills and keep adding to your tactical toolbox.

To read amazing interviews with warriors, check out Warrior SOS: Interviews, Insights and Inspiration, the book on Amazon.com. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D3WO7VK

Cop Shoots 75 yard Shot at Sikh Temple Shooting Suspect: Saves Lives

Police officer in Wisconsin shot the active shooter at the sikh temple from 75 yards away, according to this LA Times report. It was only then that the shooter took his own life. The officer has been described as a "tactical expert" among his peers. He  is also a firearms instructor.

It was alluded in the aforementioned article that the officer shot the suspect with a patrol rifle. Patrol rifles are in the AR-15 family, meaning they are .223s. It is important to note that if you zero your rifle at 25 yards, point of aim/point of impact, then at 75 yards the shot will go high and you may miss your targets. Hold low at 75 yards if that is the case.

Zeroing at 100 yards is much better. You don’t want to have to play Kentucky windage in a firefight under 100 or 200 yards. If you only have a 25 yard/meter range, then the shot placement should be 1-1/2 inch below your point of aim (at 25 yards). For more information on this topic, see this great article at Shooting Illustrated -- and get some training -- by Kenan Flasoski, retired and vetted SOF sniper and owner of FAST762.com.

For those officers or honorable citizens who may not happen to have an AR handy when bad things happen (think Murphy’s Law here), check out the video I made for Guns.com above.  I took a 100 yard shot at a police pistol range with a couple of cop friends of mine.

Train for the worse and expect the best. Stay safe. Train hard. Train smart. And fight to win.


To read amazing interviews with warriors, check out Warrior SOS: Interviews, Insights and Inspiration, the book on Amazon.com. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D3WO7VK

Former NFL Player Chad Lewis Hikes with Wounded Warriors

To read amazing interviews with warriors, check out Warrior SOS: Interviews, Insights and Inspiration, the book on Amazon.com. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D3WO7VK

August 16th -- National Airborne Day

August 16th is National Airborne Day. 

Within the Senate Resolution 527, the 112th Congress resolved that it

(1) designates August 16, 2012, as ‘National Airborne Day’; and
(2) calls on the people of the United States to observe National Airborne Day with appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities.

Interestingly, my friend's father jumped on D-day. He was shot while descending and was unconscious until a recovery team grabbed his lifeless body and threw him into the back of a large military truck collecting all the dead. As soon as my friend's dad hit inside the back of the truck, he awoke and screamed out in pain.

An avid photographer, my friend's dad had an old camera he jumped with, taking at least six pictures before he hit the ground. Those pictures, along with the jump wings he still carries in his wallet to this day, are avid reminders of his war experience.

After surgeries and recovering, he went back to jump in the pacific theater of operations as the battles and forays of World War Two still continued.

Today, this WWII Veteran, a widower, is confined to a wheel chair. Not long ago, due to his declining health, he had to have both legs amputated.

We thank him and men like him who have served in an airborne capacity.  

To read S Res 527, click here.

PS A reader sent us this link to NRA Life of Duty about a paratrooper. Thanks!

To read amazing interviews with warriors, check out Warrior SOS: Interviews, Insights and Inspiration, the book on Amazon.com. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D3WO7VK

Funeral Talk at the Service of John Cloninger (1970-2012)

Note: I dedicated my book Warrior SOS to this great man.

Funeral Talk notes for the Services of John Cloninger (1970-2012)

Given Sat. Feb 25, 2012, Morgan, Utah 
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (a.k.a. Mormon)

by Jeffrey Denning

I am reminded of the words of a congregational hymn.

Do thou, O Lord, anoint mine eyes
That I may see and win the prize.
My heart is full; mine eyes are wet.
Oh, help me, Lord, lest I forget.
So may my soul be filled with light
That I may see and win the fight,
And then at last exalted be,
In peace and rest, O Lord, with thee.

(“Before Thee Lord, I Bow My Head,” Hymns 1985, no. 158, vs. 2.)

Times like this tend to make us ponder how fragile life is. But this is not how the story ends. 

In 1991, serving in the U.S. Army in West Germany, John volunteered to deploy to Iraq in support of Desert Shield.  As 19-year-old in the midst of war, he had a lot of time to ponder the things of eternity. As its said, “There’s no such thing as atheists in foxholes.” But John wasn’t on the ground in a foxhole. He was a helicopter door gunner who did less shooting and more helping refugees in northern Iraq and Turkey. 

The sense of life and death in war served as a catalyst to catapult John to seek out eternal, heavenly things. A friend invited him to hear about the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Full-time missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints taught him about the Savior’s restored gospel. Two young men, roughly the same age as John, taught the gospel in plainness and without dilution. They said, in essence, “don’t just take our words for truth, but pray and ask God yourself whether what we’re teaching in true.” Such a message available to -- and encouraged by -- every person seeking God’s truth.

John took that challenge seriously. He read in the Book of Mormon--Another Testament of Jesus Christ, and he prayed to know whether or not it was true. In his heart and in his mind, John felt that what was being taught was true. He received a witness of it, a comforting and calming reassurance -- a peace he had never before experienced. That answer would forever change the course of his life. 

These spiritual missionary discussions that started and ended with prayer were familiar to his spirit. It wasn’t that John was learning these things for the first time. No. He was re-learning it. The missionaries taught him that we all lived before we were born; we were spirits waiting to come to earth and gain physical bodies. What the missionaries taught may have seemed new -- and it was the first time he had heard about it in this life -- but, in reality, John was one of the great ones. He was prepared before the foundation of this world in the grand councils of heaven.  “Even before [John Cloninger was] born, [he], with many others, received [his] first lessons in the world of spirits and [was] prepared to come forth in the due time of the Lord to labor in his vineyard for the salvation of the souls of men” (D&C 138:56).

John would later teach others, especially his children, that God is our Eternal Father in Heaven, the Father of our spirits, and as such each of us are brothers and sisters. 

John gained a personal and powerful witness -- a conviction of truth -- that Jesus Christ overcame death so that we all might live again. John could proclaim with the Apostle Paul that because of the atonement of Jesus Christ, “Death is swallowed up in victory. 

“O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?” (1 Corinthians 15:54-55). 

After honorably finishing his mandatory military enlistment, John was eager to begin his new life as a civilian. He wanted to find a companion, a helpmeet, someone to talk to and share his life with. Attending a single’s congregation in Dallas, Texas, John met Cindy. The two of them instantly became inseparable. Marriage soon followed. 

As Cindy’s older brother, I must admit I was a little skeptical of this former military man, but that only lasted for a short time. Why? because John had the uncanny ability to win the respect of others rapidly. His kindness and pleasant personality was attractive. He could instantly make others feel comfortable, and I was no different. I soon went from guarded and cautious about this man dating my little sister to feeling extremely happy that there was a man who could actually exceed the expectations of who I’d want to marry my sister. I knew he would protect her and provide for her. 

Just starting out, John knew that he should devote everything to his new bride and the children that soon would come into their home. That even included getting rid of his second car, a corvette. He had his priorities in order.

After starting their life together John pursued his occupational desires. He wanted to become a medical doctor, although he didn’t yet have a college degree. Tenaciously, he began working and studying. He waited tables in the evening and went to school full-time during the day. He studying tirelessly and did very well. A few kids and several years later, John decided to choose podiatry -- the study of the foot and ankle. He told me he chose that route because it was the shortest of all med school programs and, most importantly, being a podiatrist would allow him to spend maximum time with his wife and their children.  Again, John had his priorities in order.

With the passing of Sept 11, 2001, and after passing all of his final medical board exams, John was determined to join the Army once more. This time, he’d become an officer and a doctor. John carefully thought things through. He was neither overly spontaneous nor a flagrant risk-taker; in short, he was simply intelligent. Cindy, of course, had unwavering faith in his level-headed decision-making abilities and soon became a supportive Army wife.

John had excelled academically, and his talent and physical dexterity during surgery became very evident to senior military surgeons at Fort Bragg, and later Fort Hood. Operating on multiple wounds and injuries from the knee to the big toe, John performed literally hundreds of procedures during his military residency. 

With the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq hundreds of soldiers had received devastating injuries so the types of procedures John was mandated to perform during his residency program came rapidly. John’s medical school classmates who took civilian jobs were jealous of the amount of experience he was getting. It wasn’t that John just got the experience, but he was wanted above his peers in the operating room. Humbly, John was very skilled at his life’s profession. 

In 2005, John and Cindy’s life was about to take a challenging turn. They had already experienced a myriad of health struggles with their children and John had lost his step-dad, now John was getting deployed to Iraq. There was nothing John loved more than Cindy and their children. He put nothing before them in his unwritten list of priorities. Family always came first. 

Tearful good-byes weren’t easy. John had even prayed and asked God if he would live through his deployment; he was ready to accept God’s will for him. John knew that God heard his prayers; he knew his prayers were never ignored. He went forward in faith, although leaving his family was heart-wrenching. 

I am confident that God, the micromanager of our lives, needed John’s skills and his priesthood power in Iraq. John would often tell me of how spiritual the church meetings were in Iraq. Through no fault of his own, John was being stretched emotionally. Undoubtedly, like I would also experience later in a deployment to Iraq, John’s prayers became more meaningful and heartfelt. Perhaps, like the Savior in Gethsemane, “he being in an agony, prayed more earnestly” (Luke 22:44).

At one time, John’s site was attacked with great force. He was one of only five doctors stationed there (which included one psychiatrist). During the attack each of them were gathered together in an unprotected area when a barrage of deadly mortars came sailing in. One of them hit within feet of John. The ordnance hit and went through a fuel tank of a military vehicle, but it didn’t explode. John’s skills were needed. 88 casualties were received over the next 45 minutes. With the skills he possessed and that he happened to be there at that time is no coincidence in my mind. Only the Lord knows, but I venture to guess that some child has a dad alive today because John was there to save lives. 

Saving lives wasn’t the only thing John lived for. John recognized the importance of the worth of a soul. He confided in me the joy he felt in sharing the gospel with others on the base there in Iraq. Through John’s example, others became interested in his peculiar lifestyle and his professional demeanor. Others wanted to know more about the Church of Jesus Christ because of John Cloninger. 

He wasn’t like the others: John didn’t drink alcohol (although that wasn’t allowed in Iraq at the time anyway); he didn’t swear or curse; he didn’t look at pornography; he didn’t use tobacco products, or drink coffee or tea. He was faithful to his wife. He treated others with kindness and love, compassion and concern. Indeed, something was truly different about him and that difference attracted others to him.  

In addition to keeping the covenants he made at baptism and the covenants he made with God in the temple, John had special gifts of charity (or pure love) and peace that his family, whom he missed so terrible, knew best. John was approachable and gentle. He missed cuddling with his children, and he certainly missed the way they would come and sit on his lap and snuggle up to him. 

Nothing was easy for Cindy while she was home, all alone with the children. With John away she had to make all of the day to day decisions on her own. Cindy and the children continued to pray for his safety while he also prayed for them. 

Soon they were united again. The time came for John’s obligation to end. He had never planned on making a career of the military, but he loved all the military stood for. John had raised his arm to the square more than once, making an oath to “support and defend the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic.” 

John and Cindy had made their faith in God the greatest priority of their marriage and their family life. They knew that “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. [And that] Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World)

Having received the Holy Ghost after baptism and being worthy to feel of the guiding hand of the Comforter, John had learned to recognize well the promptings of the Spirit. When asking Heavenly Father in prayer where they should raise their children, they received undeniable guidance. Our eternally compassionate and loving Father in Heaven, who knows all things and sees the future before Him, guided John and Cindy to move to the Morgan Valley. After seeing how wonderful the people of this community are, there is no wondering why the Lord lead the Cloninger family here. The Lord knew the future. He knew who could best help Cindy and the kids. 

I am reminded of what Abraham Lincoln said in his second inaugural address, delivered on March 4, 1865, during the final days of the Civil War and only a month before he was killed.  He said, "With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation’s wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan.” 

Even today, many of you have observed Cindy’s strength and the their families faith. I believe your many heartfelt prayers in their behalf, and your loving, Christ-like service and kindness towards them has made -- and will yet make -- this transition and trial less burdensome. I thank you for that. 

With five kids, John and Cindy felt they were missing another tiny spirit from their family. After penitent study by faith and prayer, John and Cindy flew to China to adopt an orphan who had foot problems. Through their eyes, and through the Lord’s plan for their family, John had the right skills to help Eli’s feet and legs, but even more than that, he was their son. 

Having been sealed in the holy temple, not just “until death do you part,” but “for all time and eternity,” John and Cindy knelt across the alter gazing into the symbolism representing eternity, with their young adopted child. He was now an eternal part of their family. Nothing could separate John and Cindy from each other or from each one of their six kids. 

Cindy and John were sealed by the everlasting and binding priesthood sealing authority in the house of the Lord. When they were sealed, someone had made a cross stitch which was framed and hangs on their wall. It quotes a portion of a Bible verse, Eccl. 4:9-10 that “Two are stronger than one, for if one falls, the other will lift him up again.” 

I looked up the verse, including the following verse. There is more to it. In the King James Version, it reads, 

“Two are better than one...

“For if they fall, the one will lift up [the other]: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

“Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?”

As sad as it is today, Cindy and John had a celestial marriage and everlasting bond.  They will be together forever someday.

All was going well. John had a successful practice he created and had wonderful relationships with each of his patients. He helped them. Since he genuinely cared for all people, every person who knew him or who made his acquaintance -- particularly his patients -- felt important in his presence. John had a unique humility. He was approachable and easy to speak with. He brought out the best in others. 

The practically perfect life of John and Cindy Cloninger and their adorable children would unsuspectingly be interrupted forever on Sept 28, 2010.  Without warning, John experienced an excruciatingly severe head pain. Cindy rushed him to the hospital. Within days John was undergoing brain surgery where a walnut-sized tumor was removed. John’s faith was unconquerable. He knew that the Creator of worlds without number -- the Creator of mankind -- could perform miracles that would defy the logic of man’s finite understanding. 

Later, doctors stated that his recovery was remarkable. John had faith to be healed and, by the laying on of hands, through faith, the priesthood authority and the will of our Father, miracles occurred. 

John, a committed and determined provider, had missed a lot of work due to his brain surgery. After the doctor’s found “no deficit,” and all were stunned at the remarkable recovery -- which did, indeed, defy science but not the Creator in whose hands lay all the elements and atoms -- John returned to see his patients. There were others who needed his help. Maybe we’ll know someday in full why the Lord performed this magnificent miracle, temporarily sparing John’s life. There are several reasons I can think of. It is certain, though, that his time had not yet come. 

In this very chapel in December 2010, at the age of 41, Brother John Thomas Cloninger stood at this pulpit and spoke eloquently on a topic with which he had become very familiar: hardships. 

I’d like to share some of the words he said that day. Thankfully, he wrote down the words to his talk. I believe his children, as they grow, will be very thankful to read their father’s words when they are having hardships of their own -- the kind John told me was hurtful to him, not seeing them grow up.

John, in his talk, said this:

“We don’t seem grow as fast spiritually when things are going well...

“When we are going through trials we should be running towards our Lord, not running away from him... We must go to our Savior in prayer with a willingness to be meek, submissive, and a willingness to endure all that the Lord desires to inflict upon us.

“I do have a testimony that as we pray and show faith through our trials, our burdens may not be removed on the timeline we want, but our strength to endure will be magnified.

“God is a God who performs miracles in the past, present, and future. I can’t control the events that are about to occur. My part is to have faith and prayer and the knowledge all [is] going to be well.”

John had faith. He was a stalwart example of faith, especially as his faith was tested and tried. 

In the midst of John’s great suffering and pain, he was totally selfless. He prayed for my friend who had a brain aneurism. John prayed for him, although had not ever met my friend before that time. John was like the Savior in that he was full of compassion, mercy and charity -- the pure love of Christ.

John believed in modern-day prophets and apostles. One such prophet had a vision of the spirit world. John was not bereft of such manifestations. In speaking of the life hereafter, this prophet declared,

“I beheld that the faithful elders of this dispensation, when they depart from mortal life, continue their labors in the preaching of the gospel of repentance and redemption, through the sacrifice of the Only Begotten Son of God, among those who are in darkness and under the bondage of sin in the great world of the spirits of the dead.

“The dead who repent will be redeemed, through obedience to the ordinances of the house of God,

“And after they have paid the penalty of their transgressions, and are washed clean, shall receive a reward according to their works, for they are heirs of salvation” (D&C 138:57-59).

I have no doubt where John is or what he is now doing. He is a vanguard for his family, preparing the way for them to join them in their heavenly home together when the time is right. 

Finally, forgive me for telling a personal experience; but I believe it has relevance, and I feel impressed to share it. 

John joined the military before I did, so I often asked his advice and questioned him about his service. He went to Iraq the second time before I went the first time. I think I knew a little about his experience in Iraq. 

In my own desperate circumstances, with a lovely wife and four tiny children (at the time) home in America, separated from them by war and conflict, I leaned to my Heavenly Father, the One sure refuge for peace in a troubled world.

During one particularly troubling day after nearly a year spent in Iraq, living in the torment and pain associated with war and conflict, I was walking on the dusty roads silently pleading for help, comfort and peace. My prayers had, at that time, become much more fervent.

As I pleaded with our Heavenly Father, I felt an overwhelming feeling burning deep into my heart and mind. I knew and comprehended that He was listening to me—that He could walk beside me and hold my hand, as a little child needing his Father's loving guidance. As I watched my swaying hand, I learned more about our divine heritage than I ever had previously. We were created in His image! (See Genesis 1:26-27)

His hand was in likeness of mine, and mine like His. I comprehended and knew in my heart that God, our Father, has a body of flesh and bone as tangible as man's, though perfect and immortal. I realized more deeply then than ever that I could speak with Him as a man speaks with another man, face to face.

God is our Father—our Father in Heaven. I believe that when we reunite after this life is over it will surprise us just how familiar His face is to us.

We are indeed God's children. If for that reason alone—knowing we are children of a loving Heavenly Father—we should never give up and always have hope.

I prayed to Heavenly Father as His son. Sons need fathers and fathers need sons. John is now at home, walking hand in hand with his God and our God, with his Father and our Father. He is now back to that God who gave him life (see Alma 40:11).

I know God lives. He is our Father, the Father of our spirits. I know that Jesus is the Christ and that through his infinite atoning sacrifice we all will live again. We can be sanctified and justified to enter into his eternal presence. I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored through the prophet Joseph Smith; that the prophet today holds all the keys and authority to stand at the head of Christ’s church. I know -- I know -- that families can be together forever through Heavenly Father’s plan. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.


To learn more about the purpose of life or how families can be together forever, visit Mormon.org or speak to a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. See also John Cloninger's last church talk he titled Hardships.


To read amazing interviews with warriors, please check out Warrior SOS, the book on Amazon.com.